Introduction of the Weekly Top Six List.
I am a man attracted to many things. Breakfast, Sticker Books, Cash, and Boobies. But most of all, my absolute favorite thing is a Top Ten List. Therefore, today I am creating a top six list and will make this a frequent Friday Special here on jeffmauro.com. Why Top Six? Because Six is a far superior number to Ten and it was also the name of my breakdancing crew in grade school. Ahhh, I can smell the crew now...........
Jugbone: "you'all bastards part of the Top Six Crew."
Jeffrey: "you know we is, so quick bitchin Jugbone."
Jugbone: "Lets break"
Top Six Crew. Circa 1986
Please trust that I am indeed a great authority on most topics relating to food, music, and dance. Feel free to rebut my gospel, just don't expect me to cave in. Remember, I am a charter member of the Top Six Crew and should not be tested.
Today's Top Six List:
TOP TEN MENU ITEMS WITH COMICAL NAMES THAT NO ONE EVER ORDERS:
6) Steak Diane
This culinary wonder was hit back in the old days of Gimlets and Flapjacks. Today it is simply a queerish item to be ordering, especially in the presence of a lady.
5)Beef Wellington
I have enjoyed this in the past, I will admit that. However, I would not recommend ordering this dish when there is no designated driver. Why? Because it is essentially battered steak and the human system can't tolerate such a combo.
4)Shrimp Tasty Sizzle
This goes for any Chinese dish involving mangled English descriptions within the title i.e. chicken happy joy, crunchy lobster fun, or 100 wishes beef with brown sauce.
3) Clam Sandwich
Believe you me, this is not a wise choice when you got a hankerin' for clam based cuisine. My Papi used to tell me "Ahh, to mix the bread slice with ye mollusk is to yield thee devil into the boat." Word Papi. Word.
2) Pudding
Especially banana pudding. When faced with dilemma of ordering a gobby bowl of funky pudding or a molten chocolate cake with handmade gelato and candies galor, you should always go with the latter. Pudding is for the dinner table at home and/or special babies with dirty faces.
1) Clams Casino
Clearly you all guessed this minutes ago. Have I ever tasted Clams Casino? No, but I can assure you they are not delicious. Casino's are very fun. Clams are questionable. Together they are a precursor to a arduous sweaty night of shitting blood.
There you have it. The inaugural Friday Top Six List. If you talk shit, see what happens
CLICK ME TO SE MY CREW'S POTENTIAL
I am a man attracted to many things. Breakfast, Sticker Books, Cash, and Boobies. But most of all, my absolute favorite thing is a Top Ten List. Therefore, today I am creating a top six list and will make this a frequent Friday Special here on jeffmauro.com. Why Top Six? Because Six is a far superior number to Ten and it was also the name of my breakdancing crew in grade school. Ahhh, I can smell the crew now...........
Jugbone: "you'all bastards part of the Top Six Crew."
Jeffrey: "you know we is, so quick bitchin Jugbone."
Jugbone: "Lets break"
Top Six Crew. Circa 1986
Please trust that I am indeed a great authority on most topics relating to food, music, and dance. Feel free to rebut my gospel, just don't expect me to cave in. Remember, I am a charter member of the Top Six Crew and should not be tested.
Today's Top Six List:
TOP TEN MENU ITEMS WITH COMICAL NAMES THAT NO ONE EVER ORDERS:
6) Steak Diane
This culinary wonder was hit back in the old days of Gimlets and Flapjacks. Today it is simply a queerish item to be ordering, especially in the presence of a lady.
5)Beef Wellington
I have enjoyed this in the past, I will admit that. However, I would not recommend ordering this dish when there is no designated driver. Why? Because it is essentially battered steak and the human system can't tolerate such a combo.
4)Shrimp Tasty Sizzle
This goes for any Chinese dish involving mangled English descriptions within the title i.e. chicken happy joy, crunchy lobster fun, or 100 wishes beef with brown sauce.
3) Clam Sandwich
Believe you me, this is not a wise choice when you got a hankerin' for clam based cuisine. My Papi used to tell me "Ahh, to mix the bread slice with ye mollusk is to yield thee devil into the boat." Word Papi. Word.
2) Pudding
Especially banana pudding. When faced with dilemma of ordering a gobby bowl of funky pudding or a molten chocolate cake with handmade gelato and candies galor, you should always go with the latter. Pudding is for the dinner table at home and/or special babies with dirty faces.
1) Clams Casino
Clearly you all guessed this minutes ago. Have I ever tasted Clams Casino? No, but I can assure you they are not delicious. Casino's are very fun. Clams are questionable. Together they are a precursor to a arduous sweaty night of shitting blood.
There you have it. The inaugural Friday Top Six List. If you talk shit, see what happens
CLICK ME TO SE MY CREW'S POTENTIAL
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