Acclaimed Critic Akbar Bashiti's Soprano's Review - Episode 8

Akbar spent much time watching Soprano last night. Now he must share his vision with beloved bastard children. Last night was terrible episode, Akbar had diarrhea from old wifes lamb, i also hated sopranos. Why Akbar watch show about New Jersey that look more and more like San Fagcisco - back home we turn gay man man into ghee - clarified butter - unless gay man have large goat farm, then other arrangement can be made.

Vito is shame of the Soprano family, just when Akbar thought the Gods brought enlightenment to Vito and he beat, with Shiva like arms, Jim, the shame of all man, but when Jim beat Vito like Paki scum Akbar feelt more strongly for Jim's lamb loin passion but now shame is overcoming Akbar the sailor as well. This episodee was show case for AJ the lazy three legged goat child of Tonee. AJ is weak, not knowing how to gut old man and letting British mail nurses sieze him and drag him away like Ghandi on 97th day of fasting. AJ also suffer panick attack yet he does less work than dead goat rotting on my enemies lawn - this puzzle Akbar to no endings of the universe. He is complete slob, like end of curry in carry out bag yet he somehow functions - this is pathetic sign of America's weakness that this moron still gets ticket punched for running up $2,000 worth of bottle service at club and still gets hard cash from Carmela.

Akbar watched with childhood curiosity at Tony show his divinity into Carmela yet he stopped short at much more radiant goddess of real estate played with true fertility by Julianne Margolis. This made as much sense as non yougurt lamb. And yet through the dissapointment like the partition of India; Akbar was somehow compelled at scenes where AJ almost butchered Junior, Vito about lip lock with Jim then hit him, and Tony pushing attractive fertility woman away when she unbuttoned his tent sized shirt. Yet the hour spent watching bad Sopranos couldve been better spent in outhouse - Akbar soiled the futon.

- Akbar the shamed