When I Have Kids Thursdays - Part 12

Hey Retards,

• IF MOMMY DROPS YOU, DEAL WITH IT. Hey man, shit happens all the time. Britney Spears has been severely ostracized due to her near drop experience she had with her baby Sean Astin Federlino. Christ, you know how often my Moms dropped us. Christ, we were practically titty sucking bruises most of our formative years. Moms drop babies, Dads' spank sons, and whores blow truckers. These are facts.
  
• DOING THE SCHOOL PLAY IS NOT A WORKOUT. Got nothing against doing a little acting or what have you. You can perform in all the productions you wish, as long as you get in a smooth 10K every morning before school. This way, you won't be chubby like daddy. It will be such a fantastic bonding experience too because I will be the one following you in a golf cart with a blowhorn and cattle prod screaming "run cooter, run."
• SWIMMING WILL BE TAUGHT TO YOU VIA "PUSH IN THE POOL" METHOD. No better way to learn to swim then almost drowning daily.
  
• OH! EASY WITH THE EXTREME SPORTS

When I Have Kids I
When I Have Kids II
When I Have Kids III
When I Have Kids IV
When I Have Kids V
When I Have Kids VI
When I Have Kids VII
When I Have Kids VIII
When I Have Kids VIIII
When I Have Kids VIIIII
When I Have Kids VIIIIII