When I Have Kids Thursdays! Numero 14!

Dear Lil' Bastardos,

• NO BABY BACKPACKS. Hey you, don't think for one second that Super Daddy is gonna be totein' you around town in one of those front loading or back loading baby carriers. I'm just not that kinda guy. Maybe I'll pull you along in a wagon, or possible carry you on my shoulders, but Never will I be caught being "that guy." Those dads are the worst and you know it. Sure they are attempting to "be one" with their child and increase the bond and all that shit, but honestly, all this hippy bullshit just makes the kid lazy and over dependent. Just look at me. My Pops never dared harness me in a Jansport Backpack just so he could rock two cups of beer the "Taste." Wait a minute...on second thought.
• BABY BACKPACKS JUST MIGHT BE INCORPORATED. That is, if its summer festival season and Daddy's feeling parched and ready to rumble. Plus, if Daddy does get a little pickled and dizzy, you'll be there, my little Angel, to soften the fall.
  

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